BEATS TO THE RHYME: MY ULTIMATE OLD SCHOOL HIP-HOP CD

From 2006.

Whenever I get the chance, I burn CD compilations of oddball music samplers, party mixes, and essential collections/retrospectives of various artists, all culled from the Vault's voluminous record/CD library. Up next to be burned are essential sets of the B-52's, Oingo-Boingo, and the Dickies, but my pet project that I really need to get off my ass and put together is my dream collection of favorite old school rap and hip-hop tunes.

While I love all kinds of music and classify myself mostly as a metal/oldies/punk/surf/weirdness goon, I listened to a lot of rap and hip-hop from 1984 through the early 1990's, mostly stuff recommended by my friends who grew up in New York City, so they knew what they were talking about. (During those all-important adolescent years of figuring out one's own musical loves, my hometown was mostly a shrine to what would later become known as "classic rock," with little or no rap/hip-hop/dance stuff to be found, being as lily-white as it was.) That said, I have pretty much despised the genre since gangsta rap reared its ugly head and the beats slowed down to the point where I thought the record may have been played at the wrong speed, so while I love music in any genre that makes me move, slow hip-hop just gives me agita. The track list below contains the pieces from back in the day that immediately spring to mind when I think of my favorites, so if you're unfamiliar with any of these I very strongly urge you to check them out.

And when this disc is completed it will be dedicated to the four people who most heavily influenced my tastes in such matters, namely Steve "Senter" Hughes, Nicole and Jennifer Vandestienne (the lovely twins of evil), and of course Adam "Mister Fun" Cataldo. If you can't dance to this batch of tunes, look for a fucking toe tag.

BEATS TO THE RHYME: MY ULTIMATE OLD SCHOOL HIP-HOP DISC (playlist order to be determined)

BEATS TO THE RHYME-Run DMC
ON THE CLUB TIP-King Sun
SET IT OFF-Big Daddy Kane
SPINDERELLA'S NOT A FELLA-Salt 'n' Pepa
I'LL TAKE YOUR MAN-Salt 'n' Pepa
BUST A MOVE-Young MC (yeah, I know this one was a pop go-to back in the day, but the groove is undeniable)
IT'S MY THING-EPMD
POWER-Ice-T
THE SYNDICATE-Ice-T
RATED R-Boo Yaa Tribe
TERMINATOR X TO THE EDGE OF PANIC-Public Enemy
ME MYSELF AND I (extended version)-De La Soul
SATURDAYS-De La Soul
RISE AND SHINE-Kool Moe D
OODLES OF O'S-De La Soul
RAPPER'S DELIGHT (long version)-Sugarhill Gang
GUCCI TIME-Schooly D
BREAK DANCE (ELECTRIC BOOGIE)-West Street Mob
FAST PEG-LL Cool J
JINGLING BABY-LL Cool J
TURN IT UP FIRE IT UP-Busta Rhymes
JIMBROWSKI-The Jungle Brothers
JIMMY-Boogie Down Productions
SUPER HOE-Boogie Down Productions
MY HARDCORE RHYMES-LeJuan Love
LA DI DA DI-Slick Rick
MR. X AND MR. Z DRINK OLD GOLD-Mr.X and Mr.Z
TREAT HER LIKE A PROSTITUTE-Slick Rick  (Nowhere near as offensive as it sounds, and it's quite humorous)
THAT'S THE JOINT-Funky 4 + 1
THE ADVENTURES OF GRANDMASTER FLASH ON THE WHEELS OF STEEL-Grandmaster Flash  (the definitive tour de force in the art form of sampling)
NEW YORK, NEW YORK-Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five
HISTORY OF HIP-HOP MIX: LESSON 3-Double Dee & Steinski

THE FALLOUT BEGINS

3:30 PM:

 

I was asleep until about 30 minutes ago, recovering from yesterday's dialysis treatment, when a clearly unhinged black dude began ranting on the sidewalk in front of my building. In the wake of yesterday's Kyle Rittenhouse verdict, I expected those who are off their meds to come out of the woodwork, but not right outside. 

 

When I woke up he was in full tilt, with his overall gist being that his family brought him here from Africa so he could work hard, but it all amounts to nothing when a white kid can shoot people on the street with zero consequences. He then alternated between screaming about how "we're expected to kiss the white woman's ass while all she does is lie to us," complaints about the NYPD constantly abusing him, mention of his mother, noting "you all accuse me of being bipolar," and just an ongoing litany that left no doubt that the guy was not well. 

 

My down the hall neighbor of course went downstairs with her camera and photographed the scene, where the incident was responded to by multiple cops. They wisely opted to let the guy wear himself out while a soft-voiced female officer attempted to calm him down. After a little more than a half hour of histrionics, they managed to coax him into a car by promising to contact "his people," and they only just cleared the area.

RED DAWN OVER BORO PARK

Today’s car service driver to my first dialysis treatment of the week showed up twenty minutes before my scheduled pickup, and what a character the guy was.

The driver was a huge Russian bear of a man, somewhere around his late 60’s, and dressed in bright red sweats and a red hoodie. That ensemble was topped with a red baseball cap emblazoned with a Soviet military crest on the forehead and huge white letters reading “CCCP” on the bill, with “USSR” on the back. So, I was being driven by an old school Sov super-patriot, that much was already apparent, but the hilarious icing on this cake was when his cell phone went off. It loudly and proudly played some ultra-militaristic instrumental anthem of the sort that conjured up mental images of marching troops in propaganda reels. I had to fight not to laugh.